An Open Letter to my Younger Readers and/or Their Moms

This is an uncomfortable subject to breach. The way the world is, young girls are oversexualized and being sold the idea that their primary purpose in life is being happy, and that part of that comes from being sexy. It’s natural to want to protect them from that, or yourself from it. But ignoring it outright does not make the problem go away. The chat about puberty and body changes is a very important one that shapes your life. So, please proceed into this post with caution and an open mind.

The Meat and Bones of It

Reader, younger, older, or in between: your bra is not sexual in itself. The primary function of your mammaries is feeding children. They consist of fatty tissue, glandular tissue, nerves, ligaments and light musculature. All of that needs support otherwise the ligaments start straining, the fat escapes and spreads, and the glands get all discombobulated (Science!). That is the primary purpose of a bra. Usually, you can get away with not wearing a bra when the tissue first buds, but you want to get it all supported long before it starts to hurt.

Why am I saying this? Because it is important to cover up as well as be supported for your own health, busty or not. Remember, wearing underwear covers nakedness before the LORD. This applies to the girls developing breasts as young as six.(NY Times) That’s waaay before anyone is comfortable talking about puberty to kids in church, but it’s true. And if your breast start that early, you need to get them supported, and fast.

This world we live in today is a worrisome place for Christian women, especially young girls. It is so alluring, and we don’t even know why half the time. We think we should know better, but every time we go out there are ads and pictures and messages chanting the subconscious “one of us, one of us, one of us…” At least, it seems that way. And the lingerie department is no different. My first experience buying bras for me, I don’t remember how old I was. I think I was 16 or 17, but it was late. My mom had been buying them for me while I refused to go, partially because I didn’t have any preferences, and partially because I didn’t think it made a difference. So, basically, when we went, I ignored everything she ever taught me about the way a bra was supposed to fit and bought pretty, smooth things like I had seen my friends in gym class wearing that didn’t fit me (and a minimizer because I remembered one of my girlfriends telling me that that’s how they could tell me apart from the freshmen. It didn’t fit either.) I didn’t even check to see if they would fit until I got home.

In my defense, the lingerie department is scary. Even now, I shop online when I can. Fitters can be downright rude, and then when they don’t have your size they might try to fit you into something that just doesn’t work. Not to mention the pictures of basically naked women everywhere (and nearly all of those pictures are of women in badly fitting bras, but that’s a rant for another day). The fact is, by the time a girl is seventeen, (most) girls have seen  250000 commercials telling them they should be a decorative object, or sexy(). If you’ve every been underwear shopping in the mall, you probably already knew that. The stat doesn’t even account for the signs and billboards and fashion trash rags that girls see and read and pass themselves as the norm. It is a reflection of the way our world is today, and when you have to have underwear, it gets very tough not to get sucked in or disheartened.

First of all, relax. There is nothing inherently immodest about wanting pretty bras. After all, if we see ourselves as daughters of the King, we ought to dress accordingly on all counts (2 Samuel 13:18). The error is in putting that first, and making your underwear about you. So you can go anywhere and find whatever bra you like as long as it 1) fits and 2) doesn’t show through your clothes (otherwise, you might as well not be wearing them and that is a modesty no-no.) You CAN buy that pretty neon green bra, just don’t wear it under a tissue tee without a decent tank top or camisole. In fact, psychology suggests that dressing up in clothes that make you feel pretty actually puts you in a better mood!

Recap Manifesto!

In Conclusion, this post is necessary

BECAUSE  it is a tough subject

BECAUSE the lingerie department is a scary place

BECAUSE breast develop as early as elementary school

BECAUSE the pictures on the wall at the stores girls buy their underwear at are all provocative

BECAUSE learning about yourself in a timely manner makes you more comfortable with the changes

Because knowledge is power. This is why I write. You ladies, from like 12 to 100, are the reason for this blog. With such a charged subject, I make an extra effort to keep this place family friendly and modest SO that we can talk about it.

Hey Girls!

If you want to learn more about modesty geared more specifically for you, check out Secret Keeper Girls! Their current tour is called “The Purple Party”, and I highly recommend looking for a close by stop.

Other sources:

We will be moving into a new and exciting theme next month and i can’t wait! Also, if you have not weighed in on the OUTFIT OF THE WEEK question on Instagram, please do! Until next week!




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